The Constant Struggle...
Well, I know it's a common complaint that I have a hard time keeping in touch with people, and it's a legitimate one. Don't ask me why, I think my mind is pretty messed up, that's the best I can offer. It's not because I don't feel like it's worth it, that much I can assure you. I miss my friends and family immensely. I'd say that I miss home, but it's been a long time since I've felt like I actually had one. I've been lost for a long time now. And so here I am in Taiwan, and it's been an adventure (though not the kind I would have hoped for), perhaps I'd be better off saying that it's been a trial. A serious test of my abilities to cope in difficult and stressful situations. I know it can always get worse, that's the nature of life (especially with my luck), but at the moment, I just don't see how it could be. Let's just hope that the old saying rings true for me, if it doesn't kill me, it should at least make me stronger. I will do my best to update this online journal of mine with the comings and goings of my life, maybe you can check up on me every now and then in return. Until we meet again. Be safe, be loved.
posted by Chris | 9:57 p.m.
7 Comments:
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
You're doing an awsome thing, buddy. I'm glad you've got that job. Your students sound great.
We've always heard that proximity and friends ought not to matter, and that you should be able to troop on just knowing they are out there. But somehow that never seems to work, does it? None the less, we are all still here, and we miss you as much as you miss us.
First one to comment... I believe one of the places we go astray is the feeling that if we're struggling something must be wrong, that we must be failing. I suspect, though, that in truth if we are struggling it might be because we're doing something right, because we're striving for something that is not already in our reach. As Albert Camus suggested, maybe the struggle is the purpose, and that's why life is absurd.
Perhaps you're not lost, only weightless with the realisation that all your assumptions had no more substance than air. But do any of us know more than that? Are our lives any more certain just because we believe they are? Maybe the only difference between lost and found is voluntary blindness... or true faith.
Do you know what you're looking for?
Love you, your lbs, Megs
Lol, take that back, I took to long. Second one to comment.
:-D Megs
"The purpose of life is a lifes purpose."
Lol, there's more where that came from. Fire a "shut up" in my direction and I'll take it as stoicly as possible.
This is Alex. I forgot my login information and am too tired to search for it, so anonymous it is! Sounds like you're having ups and downs, and right now you're in the 'down' phase. I'll agree with what you said, how this is a trial of your limits and abilities; I anticipate your current situation to carry a noticably development regarding the type of person you are. It makes me think about how different my experience in Japan would be if I had as many variables and as much independance as you.
Well, blogs are not essays, I'll chat with you online.
Beware of the pathetic fallacy. Separate the way you feel from external circumstances. You need to analyze each separately, so you know where you really are. Of course, where you really are is a long way away from all that you have known except yourself. Not a bad place to take stock and try to get a different perspective on things. What do your former life, your friends, your family look like from half a world away? And who are you really, with all the context stripped away? Any place is a good place to learn, so figure out what you want to know and see what you can find out from where you are now. (See Alex, blogs can be essays.) Bye for now; I will write a real letter later.
I wanted to wait until stuff settled down from your more tortured days until I made any response. I was hoping when you left that you were going so you could find yourself, your purpose for life. It sounds like you're having that life altering experience that sounds so cool in stories and sucks so much to be there. As the chinese curse goes, may you lead an interesting life, so does the beginning of any new life start with the complete emptiness of an old life torn away. You have joined the ranks of monks and wise men who seek the desert and isolation so that they may fast the soul.
After this it will all seem easy.
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